ways to annoy people / paragiraffe is a blog by maura

Write “for sexual favors” in the memo field of checks.
Sit on the side of the road in your car, hold up a hair dryer, and see how many people slow down.
Say every sentence like a question?
Specify your drive-through order is “to go.”
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Ask people what gender they are.
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

authgeek / 28 sep 2004 / 11:26 p.m.

Can I add this one for you?

Change your favicon to look like you redesigned your site but just continue to keep your readers in suspense.

Meredith / 29 sep 2004 / 12:22 a.m.

HAHAHA! I ♥ you so so much!

Kayleigh / 29 sep 2004 / 1:17 a.m.

Thank you authgeek! I thought the same thing about the favicon.

I like a lot of those ideas. I think I will try them. Thanks. Now. Design.

Jasmin / 29 sep 2004 / 8 a.m.

I agree with authgeek and Kayleigh! Hmpfff.

I love 6 so much that I’m going to try it with a pencil on library books. Lol.

Richard / 29 sep 2004 / 8:51 a.m.

Listening to someone when not looking at them seems to drive people nuts? Why I don’t know; I am using my ears not my eyes.

Wife also hates I use uh huh to much, she feels I am not listening (sometimes I am not)

filmmaker / 29 sep 2004 / 12:51 p.m.

One of best posts, Maura. Superb work.

Matthew / 29 sep 2004 / 1:46 p.m.

11) respond to every question asked, regardless of who it was addressed to.

filmmaker / 29 sep 2004 / 3:10 p.m.

That would be uber annoying. Would make you sound like a know it all rather than a funny/odd annoyance.

Erika / 29 sep 2004 / 8:23 p.m.

Elevator fun: When you get on an elevator, don’t turn around to face the door. Then, as people get off, don’t reshift to increase personal space. Finally, cough. A lot. And don’t cover your mouth.

Matthew / 29 sep 2004 / 9:24 p.m.

Filmmaker,

I dissagree.

For example:

Q: How are you today? A: Oh, I’m fine, thank you for asking. My wife left me, but that’s OK because I want a divorce anyway, so I can get palimony payment.

Q: Did you hear about bob? A: Bob? that jerk, what happened to him?

etc. I was thinking more along the lines of those sorts of questions, rather than “where’s the bathroom” type questions.

You may be right, that’s more of a way to make them just leave.

Hey, here’s an idea:

combine 11 and 12. Stand in the elevator, answering questions asked by the people who get in and out.