The Rules / paragiraffe is a blog by maura

I cannot believe I have never posted my Christmas light decorating rules. Seriously. I’ve done several searches on my archives and have come up empty. Maybe I wanted to spare my readers from thinking I am psychotic, but, ah, we’re way beyond that stage now.

So, without further ado, I present: Maura’s Rules for Decorating with Christmas Lights

NO MOTION. No blinking, no chasing, no fading, no combinations thereof.
No mixing of bulb sizes. All small or all large. Choose one.
Pick ONE color theme: all white, all multicolored, or all one solid color. No mixing. Pick ONE.
If your Christmas tree is visible from the front of your house, its lights must match your outdoor lights.
Unless you’re the Opryland Hotel, don’t use those lights in nets.

That’ll do it. You should also know that I generally dislike those lighted lawn ornaments, and, if you decorate with lights in your bathroom, you should feel free to break all of these rules.

jason / 11 dec 2005 / 6:36 p.m.

snob, but you’re right. let me add one more down. if they’re still up in january, please feel free to burn your house down with yourself in it.

Emma / 11 dec 2005 / 6:40 p.m.

You used to be more strict. You’ve let up on the colors. I remember it used to be ONLY white.

Sally / 11 dec 2005 / 7:06 p.m.

white lights are my favorite! and rule number one is good, blinking lights make me dizzy after awhile!

Kayleigh / 11 dec 2005 / 8:36 p.m.

oh man there are these two housed in my home town that are right next to each other, and they look like they are fighting for the title of “Christmas Massacre”

Jing / 11 dec 2005 / 9:59 p.m.

i think you should check out this video of house lighting before your final, laminated copy of “the rules”…

http://martinsquest.com/large_files/videos/houselights.wmv

James / 12 dec 2005 / 1:16 a.m.

I still agree wholeheartedly with all of this.

david / 13 dec 2005 / 2:23 p.m.

My parents (mom) set up two Christmas trees… one in the family room that we user for presents and one in the den that is for the sole purpose of being seen from the street. The ‘family’ Christmas tree is all multicolored lights and many ornaments… the ‘public’ tree is only white lights and only gold, silver, and glass (or any combination of the three) ornaments. It looks pretty good actually.

Jaemie / 15 dec 2005 / 7:01 a.m.

Aww, there isn’t anything wrong with motion lights. Well, OK, if the motion can cause seizures, then it MIGHT be a little too much.

My rules: - use a subtle, no seizure inducing setting - use motion sparingly and coordinate appropriately - if you choose to use motion lights, USE THE SAME MOTION SETTING FOR ALL SETS OF LIGHTS USED. The house down the street from mine has two sets of icicle lights hanging from the front of their house: one twinkles, the other blinks. So annoying.